The War Within Yourself

Introduction

There is a silent war many of us fight daily—the war within ourselves. What makes this battle so difficult is that, often, we don’t even realize that we can be our own worst enemies. We pour ourselves into helping, protecting, and caring for others, yet neglect to save ourselves.

My Transparent Moment

For me, this looked like self-sabotage. I constantly projected fear onto myself. Instead of believing I was capable or worthy, I would tear myself down. I told myself I was an awful person, wife, and mother—before anyone else ever had the chance to.

I thought that by labeling myself first, I could somehow shield myself from rejection or disappointment. The truth? I was drowning in fear, and it robbed me of joy and peace.

The Root of My Struggle

I didn’t feel good about myself. The very tools I had taught others to use in their own healing, I failed to apply to my own life. That opened the door to intrusive, negative, and persistent thoughts.

I rejected good things because I didn’t believe I deserved them. I couldn’t embrace joy because deep down, I feared that something bad would follow.

Looking back, I see the root of it—it was fear. Fear of disappointment. Fear of losing control. Fear of trusting God fully with my life.

So, I clung tightly to my own control. But instead of safety, it left me with crippling anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and intrusive patterns I couldn’t shake.

Letting Go of Control

And here’s the truth I had to face: my way wasn’t working. Worrying and trying to control everything didn’t change the outcome.

If something bad was going to happen, my worry wouldn’t stop it. All it did was rob me of peace in the meantime.

The breakthrough came when I let go. I surrendered control and put everything in God’s hands. Slowly, I learned that His strength was greater than my fear, and His love was bigger than my doubt.

What Helped Me Heal

If you find yourself in this war, here are some tools that helped me:

✅ Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (CBT): Challenging negative thoughts, reframing them, and casting them down before they take root.

✅Talking with God:Prayer, meditation, and mindfulness helped me focus my mind and spirit on His promises.

✅Deep Breathing & Grounding Exercises:Calming my nervous system when anxiety tried to take over.

✅Reading the Word:Finding strength and truth in Scripture to remind me of who I am in Christ.

✅Counseling:Processing the “why” behind my thoughts and recognizing they weren’t the truth of who I was.

✅Mentorship:Surrounding myself with people who could remind me of my worth and identity when I forgot.

Final Encouragement

If you are struggling with this war within, let me remind you: you don’t have to fight it alone. Put it in God’s hands. Trust His plan for you. Remember who He has called you to be, because His voice speaks louder than fear.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6–7